Dating Thai women:
In my humble opinion women from Thailand are the sweetest, most beautiful women in the world. I am going to guess if you are reading this, you tend to agree. Asian women in general treat the men they love completely differently then western women do.
The cultures, and customs of Asian countries have gone down a very different tangent then those of western societies. Anybody who has ever had a relationship with an Asian girl with traditional values will tell you that it is a vastly different relationship.
You must understand first, and foremost that finding a foreign boyfriend in Thailand for some Thai ladies, is like winning the lottery. Minimum wage in Thailand is 300 baht a day. That is about $8.40 in America currency... PER DAY! Imagine working a 9 hour day, and getting paid that for your labor. For many Thai ladies having a foreign boyfriend is a status symbol.
The cost of living is much cheaper in Thailand compared to Western countries. You can get a plate of Pad Thai cooked right in front of you on the streets of Bangkok for about one American dollar. If you add several fresh, plump, shrimp cooked with it the price goes up another fifty cents. You wont find that in America, and I am sure you wont find it in Europe either. I dated a girl who had a studio apartment in Bangkok for about $150.00 (U.S. Dollars) a month. I wish my rent was that cheap. Having a foreign boyfriend to take care of them means a much better lifestyle for the lucky Thai lady who finds one.
We have all heard stories of westerners becoming smitten with bar girls they meet in the Red Light districts. These girls are experts at playing the game. They know exactly what to say and do to convince hapless foreign men that they love them, and want to be with them forever. Many of us have seen the movie, Full metal Jacket, and are familiar, with that famous line, “Me love you long time.”
Still foolish men believe this without question from the exotic Asian women they meet in the Red light districts. Enjoy the bars in the red light districts, enjoy the company of the lovely ladies that work there, but do not look at them as potential girlfriends. Trust me when I tell you this, in the end, your money is all they truly want. I can tell you from personal experience that the red light districts are not the only place you will find a girl who thinks like this.
Everyone has a story about that special someone that they want to spend their life with, this one is mine. I believe it was in early 2013 that I first met her on a dating website called dateinasia.com Her name was Jeab. That was not her real name of course, Jeab was her nickname. Thai people know each other by their nicknames.
Jeab looked like the typical Asian girl. She was very thin, long black hair, black eyes, she was the girl next door looking, but quite attractive in my eyes. She seemed to have a kind heart, and great personality as well. I will have to say that I liked her from the beginning.
I remember one of the first things she told me was that she didn’t like it when she saw vendors taking advantage of people, and charging foreigners more than a fair price. She was Buddhist, and believed the vendors would have bad karma from their actions. I thought that she was too good to be true.
I spent the month of October in Thailand on a planned trip to, “The land of smiles.” It was the third year in a row that I went there on holiday. The anti government protests were just getting started, and people were peacefully gathering in a park in Bangkok.
I of course met Jeab in person when I got to Bangkok, and spent a bit of time with her, and her daughter getting to know them. I stayed in a hotel for a week at the end of the road where her apartment was, on the outskirts of Bangkok. It looked more like an alley in my American eyes. She worked in a strip mall walking distance from her tiny apartment, other than that strip mall there was nothing to see, or do in the area.
Jeab worked in a coffee shop, and earned little more than minimum wage. She had a 13 year old daughter who of course was always hungry like a typical teenager. I remember the first three times that I saw her daughter she always wore the same clothes.
When we went to the mall together I had no problem buying her some new clothes that she picked out at one of the discount clothing areas in the mall, which she immediately put on. I am guessing these were the first new set of clothes she had received in a long time.
After spending time with Jeab, and her daughter I left to return to America. The whole way home I kept thinking about how nice it would be to have her for a girlfriend. The first thing I did when I got home was let her know that I made it home safely, and enjoyed meeting her. We talked everyday after that, and a week later I told her I wish that I had a girlfriend like her, and she replied that she wished she had a boyfriend like me. Now I had a sweet, pretty Thai girlfriend.
If you are reading this you mostly likely know about Thailand, and you know what happened in Bangkok by the end of November 2013. The anti government protests took off with full force. It turns out the strip mall was not the only thing near Jeab’s apartment. The Ministry of Finance was located nearby on the main road the hotel I stayed in was on as well, and the hotel’s parking lot became ground zero for the protesters to gather.
That main road had four lanes of traffic going in each direction, and the protesters closed it down to one lane with old tires, and their bodies. Bangkok is a major city, and this of course caused a traffic nightmare. The foot traffic to the strip mall Jeab worked in died off because people could not get there easily by car, and were scared of the sometimes violent protests. This of course meant that Jeab lost hours at work, and had even less money to pay bills she could barely afford on her meager salary.
The protests got more violent and people set off homemade bombs near the hotel I had stayed in. Jeab sent me a message that a bomb was set off, and woke her out of a dead sleep. I easily verified her story by looking online at the Bangkok post (online newspaper), and reading about it.
She told me that both her, and her daughter were scared, and wanted to get out of Bangkok for awhile, but had no money to leave. She asked for my help, and of course I had to help my girlfriend. I sent money from my bank account in America to hers in Thailand, a half a weeks wages for me, a months salary to her. Three days later the cash was in her account.
She went to visit her father in another part of Thailand for a week, and decided to go back to Bangkok to try to work, and take care of her daughter. She went back to the coffee shop for reduced pay, and did her best to survive. The schools in the area had already closed for the children’s safety, and her daughter just stayed home.
She of course needed food for her daughter, but by mid December she had no money. I told her that I would send her, and her daughter money for Christmas. She was my girlfriend, and I had to get them something for Christmas, right? Three days later a months salary was in her account again. I was in love, and had to prove I could take care of her.
Early in January she needed help again due to slow sales at her shop, and little pay. Her bank account information was already entered into my online account. I just had to click transfer money, click her name, type in the amount, and click submit. It was too quick, and simple to send her money.
The month of February, I had to get my girlfriend a Valentines Day present, click, click, done. The next month her father was sick, and needed her help, so she needed mine. He may be my father in-law soon, click, done. The months run together after that, it was always something. She needed help with rent, school opened back up, and daughter needed new clothes for school, click, click, click, done. I figure I sent her money about 8 times all together to help her out, about a months wages for her each time.
It was now time for a trip to go back to Thailand for a month long holiday. I was excited to see my girlfriend again, the girl I helped out, and took care of while the protesters were there.
I thought about how great it would be to see the girl I loved again the whole flight there. There was a possibility I would marry that girl on this trip to Bangkok. I was truly happy to see her, and spend time with her again, but I wish I could say the feeling was mutual...
The coffee shop she worked in was sold, and Jeab lost her job there. She now had a new job in a different area. I got to my hotel about two in the morning after a 27 hour trip.
I was feeling jet lagged the next day, but was up by nine in the morning. I had a few things I wanted to get done, such as getting a rabbit pass for the sky train, and a sim card for my phone. I had to find a street vendor for some great Pad Thai too, and this being my fourth trip to Thailand, I knew just where to look.
I finally met up with Jeab at one of the sky train stops, and we took a taxi back to her apartment. She spent more time playing with her cell phone than talking with me. Her daughter was happy to see me when I got there, because it meant she could go to her favorite restaurant, a Thai BBQ buffet.
There is raw meat on the buffet, and a dome grill at your table to cook it, a very unique dining experience. We took a taxi back to the road where her apartment was, and she told me that she was tired, and was going home, “You go back to hotel now khun Greg. Bye, Bye.” Then they walked away, and left me standing there alone. The taxi had already left, and I had to find another, and try to tell the driver where I wanted to go. Her helping me get another taxi home would have been a nice gesture. Telling me she was done for the night before the taxi left would have been even better.
I stayed in a hotel near the sky train when I first got to Bangkok, and switched to the hotel near her for a few days. The military had already taken over, and cleared the protesters out of there. She took the day off work to spend with me when I got to the hotel near her.
I had already told her online a couple months before I came back to Thailand that I would buy her daughter a laptop computer for school. I am sure you know what is coming next, that's right within 30 minutes of checking into the hotel, we were on our way to the computer store.
She was a bit cold, and distant with me after that. My last night in the hotel near her we went to a restaurant, and she was stressed, and in a bad mood. She finally told me her father was sick, and needed money for the doctor. I gave her money, and we called it a night. I checked out of the hotel the next day happy to be getting out of there.
I decided to just leave her alone after that, and let her contact me if she wanted to spend time together. She had my cell phone number, and could message me online, but during my last 2 weeks in Bangkok she did not contact me once. I left without saying goodbye.
Two months later I messaged her to ask why, and I got a simple, “Sometimes I need to be alone to think.” I replied, “But you knew I was only there for a month, and helped you when the protests were going on.” “I know”, is all she said.
It was about nine months later that I took another one month trip to Thailand. I messaged her again a week later, and asked if she was at work in the same place. She quickly messaged me back, “Yes, why?” I didn’t answer, I just showed up at her work. I needed closure. I needed to know why. I needed to know if it was a game to her the whole time.
She was surprised to see me. She didn’t know I was back in Bangkok. She looked different, short hair with a touch of gray, and looked a bit stressed. She took a break, and we sat down, and had a soda. She told me that she was a grand mother now. Her daughter had a baby with a boy from school. His parents are poor so she was left to raise her daughter, and grandson alone. Her daughter dropped out of school to take care of her baby.
I will have to say I dodged a bullet on that one. If she had treated me better before and we ended up together, I would be taking care of all three of them. I had my closure. I found out Karma didn’t punish me as I had thought earlier, it had in fact protected me. There is a reason for everything, and I still wonder why she was so uncaring with me after I helped her so much.
I met her online 8 months before the protests started, and spent time with her literally weeks before it got ugly in Bangkok. Maybe she needed someone to take care of her during those rough times, and the universe needed an idiot like me to do it. It still hurt, in the heart, and the wallet. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I made it too easy for her to get my financial assistance. Money changes everything.
Watch you heart, even the seemingly nice girls can deceive you as well. You may be thinking that the one you met is different, and she is not that way. I thought the same thing my friend, I thought the same thing.